Falling in love is probably the most beautiful feeling that can ever happen to a person. Once you are truly in love with somebody and that person shares the same feeling about you… I believe that Life is endless for both of you. You can have as much problems as possible. You might be in confusion, you might be in a misunderstanding about which movie you would love to watch the upcoming Friday, which tie he should wear with his suit, and which dress will make her less attractive to other guys… but at the end of the dispute, which might take a minute, an hour, a day or even months, you guys will always say I love you to each other. This is where the happiness of love remains.
But what happens when love tricks us? When we feel that we are deeply in love with somebody and that we can not be without that person for a single minute, then we get married to each other, and out of sudden that heat of love is no longer there and the feeling of anger and disappointment prevails. Is it possible that two people who were enormously in love with each other , who dreamt about being married and who felt so passionate about spending the rest of their lives together, end up in an awkward after- marriage relationship where one of them or both of them do not feel the same about each other anymore. Is it love that tricked them from the very beginning or is it the institution of marriage that kills love rather than making it grows?
Many of you , while reading this article, will be stating the fact that this does not happen to everybody. That there are people who have been happily in love and their love even grows with marriage. To those people who are stating this, I say, you are right and I totally agree with you. I have heard, read and even witnessed the life of many couples who fall under this category, however, there is still a large number of people who find themselves under the same roof with a person they once thought he or she is the love of their life, and end up living a miserable life after moving in together under the institution of marriage.
Many of these people, unfortunately, do not feel the courage to come out and say : “ My feelings for this person has tricked me, I thought I was in love, but I realized with time that he or she is not the person I loved...” In some of the Western cultures, I believe that there is some sort of openness about this. And in most cases, when such feelings arise within a married couple, one of them will speak his or her mind out and say, I can’t continue! However, in cultures like the one I belong to, marriage is a sacred institution, just as any other culture, and divorce is the last option to choose. Sometimes, I feel that we do not pay as much attention to how married couples feel about each other, rather than putting the full attention into not separating, no matter how dissatisfied one of even the both of them are in that relationship.
I have witnessed and listened to people, especially women, who have expressed the fact that they have lost the love and affection and even the attraction to the person they married, yet they are forced by the cultural norms and the traditional rules to be with that person, have kids and accept the fact that they are stuck in that miserable situation for mostly the rest of their lives, for the society does not “welcome” divorced women…
These categories of women are largely found in many of the Eastern countries including my own country. Of course, there are women , who were able to defy the cultural Agenda, by speaking out against anything that will stand against them being happy and decided to move on with their lives with no regret and no fear.
Some people might argue about the fact that saving a marriage is more important than feeling happy in that marriage. I say, Happiness comes first. Being happy is the key to a healthy living, a healthy body and healthy mind. There is no religion and no law that states that a person (being a man or a woman) should remain in a relationship where they feel no intimacy, love and closure with the other person.
I started my article saying that if two people are deeply in love with each other, life is endless for both of them. However, my dilemma is , how come two people who felt in love so deeply, find themselves, out of love once married? Does love have an ending time? Or were they tricked by love?
To be continued…
H.J
