My Story with 2011

2011 was the learning experience in my whole life!! that learning stage where I learnt so many things about Life, Love, Friendship, health, God, family, people, …It was the most exciting year of my life. Yeap!!! It all started with the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me, meeting my besty…( at least i thought so!!), and it all ended with me loosing my besty!!!( nothing hurts as much as loosing a "Good"friend). It all started with so many blessings on my professional life which I am so thankful to God for. It taught me lessons; it gave me inspirations to never give up no matter how the road gets rocky. It made me realize how blessed I am by the wonderful friends around me. It opened my eyes to a very special person in my life whom i will always be grateful for all the support, love, and care poured towards me. It made me realize that life is short and I should enjoy it to the fullest. It showed me that life and people can hurt a lot sometimes, and all I should do is put myself together and continue and never tend to hurt anyone!

2011 was my life turning point. The past few months, I fully realized how life is precious and how important for me to value it. I realized that nothing in the world can be more important than a good health. 2011 taught me how to cry and wipe the tears and stand up and say I am fine and I will survive. 2011 made me a stronger woman…!!!

2011 taught me that I can never judge a book from the cover, but rather wait until I read it all. I was taught that a person can never be trusted unless tested…and it showed me that not all people I loved deserved my trust. 2011 taught me that individuals can change as life changes and as opportunities rises; it taught me that I should never allow anybody to step on my dignity. It taught me that I am way better than what I think I am and it inspired me to always stay the way I am and do nothing but strive to be a better person.

2011 showed me that people can be so cruel in this life. But with a Good heart, I can always respond better to their cruelty and teach them a lesson. 2011 proved to me that when one door closes, a better one opens and that I should never loose hope.

2011 came with many blessings on my road. I was blessed with a good career, a better health, more spiritual connection with God, still being sane and sound, a great heart that can only love and wishes the best for all the people who come across, and above all with all the love that every one of my friends, family members and the people I know have towards me.

2011 made me realize that without all of you, my dear friends and family members, I am nobody. So, to those who have loved me, I say thank you for your love. I love you too. To those who supported me throughout the past year I say great job! You saved me. To those who inspired me I say keep doing it I love it J To those who prayed for me during my down times I say God Bless you, and to all my family, friends, and acquaintances, I say I love you all so much and I wish you a happy new year. In this New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want!

Goodbye 2011…Welcome 2012

With Love

Houssna

From the Heart: surviving a break up

It is funny how most of the relationships that starts with a strong emotional connection, excitement, absolute happiness, a feeling of comfort and "la VIE En Rose” tend to end with the most painful and dramatic sorrow! I keep on asking myself this question? Is it only we, women that feel that the world has ended after a break up, especially , with someone we had some intense feelings for, Or do men also go through the same path?

Before I start my humble analysis of how a woman or a man deals with the emotional trauma caused by a breakup, I would like to emphasize one thing, that there is nothing called “ I break up with her/ him and I feel fine!!!” Most men or women who break up with their partner will feel sad, troubled, and not at ease for some days, weeks, months and even years for some people who might find it so hard to move on with their lives and call it a day!

One of the most important things that a person should never forget is that : “ It is OK to be or feel sad after a relationship has ended” We are human beings, and no matter how much we try to do to avoid that discomfort that, unfortunately, tends to visit us all the time after a breakup, we will still miss that special person. It simply means that while trying to move on into a new life, the memories of that wonderful person that we loved one day is chasing us and not letting our sadness rest in peace!!! But, that sadness is not eternal, it will fade away once you follow simple steps:

1- Accept the fact that it is over: I did a survey few weeks ago on break ups and I interviewed some men and women on their opinion on what makes a break up so hard and 85% of the answers were related to the fact that it gets so hard to accept that the man or woman we loved is now an ex! The first healthy step in your recovery would be taking control of the situation and believing that it is Over. Keep reminding yourself every day that it is over. and believe me, you will realize how fast you will recover from that heartbreak.

2- Do not, and do not, jump into another relationship so early: Most of the time, men tend to jump into a rebound relationship with another woman right after breaking up with “ The Girlfriend”. This is not a generalization, for I have known men who have taken their time to heal and recover and find the right person after a while. History, shows that no rebound relationship has been successful. Suffering after a break up is for sure better thansuffering while in a relationship with another woman or man who would be nothing but a victim of some old feelings that have not been mourned!!

3- Keep yourself away from him or her during the first months: Delete his or her number from your phone, do not google them on facebook, do not befriend their friends to see their profiles, do not create another account if you have been blocked on facebook so that you can have access to their profile, do not and do not put yourself in a “pity” situation by keeping on calling, texting, emailing,…. I know that when you miss that somebody.. you tend not to think about what you want to do and most of the time, you will end up regretting that email you sent or that text or that phone call. Let time heal your wounds, let time comfort your sorrow. With time, you will realize how mature you become in dealing with a break up trauma!

Get yourself busy: It is funny how life can turn us away from people we loved so dearly and people we have enjoyed their company , their talks, their little chat, and their calls. While in the relationship, most of us, women and men, tend to forget the outside world and we live in a small world where nobody but you and her/ him. We cut contact with most of our friends, we decrease our friends circle, we become so dependent on each other, so addicted to each other. Then a break up happens, and our life becomes empty! My advise to every men and woman out there is This: “ Friends are so rare to find, and true friends are a blessing to us. If you find that true friend, never allow anybody to make you stay away from him or her. Because in needy time, like for instance after a break up period, only a true friend will stand on your side.” There are million of things that can get you busy so that you do not spend all your free time thinking about your ex!

Do not take it personal: Do not be harsh on yourself, It is not your fault. That man or that woman is now called your ex for a reason. Be sure that you are not alone even if you think so. There are million of other women and men out there in this world who are feeling the same way you do. You will cry, you will not find it easy to sleep, you will not be able to focus, you will get sick, you will miss them, you will try to be in touch, …but it is only temporary. One day you will wake up and laugh and say yay It is over!! Love yourself, because only you can bring that happiness back into your life!!

Get closer to God: There is no better therapy in life than being close to God. Pray , pray and pray. We go through hard times because God wants us to get closer to Him, to pray and ask him for guidance. The closer you become to God, the more peace you will get, the faster you will accept that it is over and the faster your sorrow and sadness will be gone.

Talk about how you feel. If you cant find anybody to talk to. Write a letter, a blog, a journal, where you can put your thoughts. This has helped so many people deal with their post break ups grief. Every time you feel the need to call your ex or email him or her. Take a book and write whatever you wanna say . put all your anger on that paper. You will notice how relaxed you will feel after you finish writing it.

And Finally, remember that Post break up is not a fun time for most of us at all. We do go through real hard time. Some people manage to get over their ex in a short period of time ( mostly men), others, take more time in doing that.( Mostly women!) . If you are going through a break up, do not forget that the process will definitely take time, but with time, better things come!

H.J

Why Me?

“To all the people who feel, felt or will feel lost at a certain time of their lives”

How many of us have felt lost at a certain time of their lives? Not just one, or two but the majority have crossed that path at least once or twice in their lives if not to say every time they try to make a decision related to a certain aspect of their lives.

Success is what everyone wants. We were all born with the passion to succeed and achieve. Each one of us adopts a different method leading towards that success. With that goal in mind we cross many steps in our lives, we meet various people that affect our lives in both negative and positive ways, we travel to different places and get acquainted to newer cultures, learn new languages,…And all these factors contribute to us adopting new ideas, challenging our old ones, getting rid of some of our old habits and welcoming new ones.. Then, we start to struggle in our own ways to get the perfect job that pays the most, get the highest degrees with the best future even if we don’t like the major, get married to the most successful man or woman, buy the most expensive items… So we lead a life full of non stop race and challenges, and in the midst of all this, our worries increase, our ambitions develop, and our minds give born to a situation called confusion or being lost!

In an early article of mine I have spoken about the importance of not only setting goals in life but making those goals happy ones; in the sense that if my goal or your goal is not a happy one, you will reach it after a series of hard work, sacrifices, dedication, perseverance and a whole set of motivational exercises, but you will find yourself not enjoying it once achieved..!

I always believed that each one of us has worked hard enough in direct and indirect ways to achieve a goal in life. Some of us have been successful in getting what they want, others have been finding it hard to get even one third of what they strive to get due to many factors, and therefore find themselves in a situation that we can summarize in two words: Why me?

Personally speaking, I have crossed the “Why me” Situation many times in my life and I know many people who have experienced such a “being lost” situation when making decisions about a career change, marriage, dating, divorce, traveling, having babies… Especially at today’s world when going on one direction has become almost impossible and a person is often obliged to make a stop at different junctions and ask for directions to be sure he or she is on the right road to his or her destination.

Through my article I would like to specify the fact that we are all humans and being lost at a certain point in life is totally a natural aspect that can be treated with many ways apart from sitting and repeating the phrase : I feel lost or reproaching one self by saying why me?

There are simple baby steps that each one of us needs to follow to jump out of such a situation and welcome a life full of satisfaction. I always insist on the fact that happiness starts from within, from us, from the way we see life and the way we thank God for what we have. The more we appreciate the little we have, the more we will get, and the happier we will become. Thus, our worries, and our loss will start to gradually dismantle and eventually disappear.

If you are currently feeling lost about a situation, please remind yourself that it is just temporary, it might take days, months or years, and it will stop because you will find your road eventually and you will get to your happy goal. Then why being trapped in a self torture status when all you need to do is this:

1- Set a happy goal in life ( it is very simple (e.g): don’t make your goal only getting a job that pays off well, but make your goal getting a job about which you have a huge passion and love.)

2- Plan your life and your goal carefully ( I would say plan with both your mind and heart.)

3- Consult with the right people (sometimes in life, we need mentors, friends, people with whom we can have a little chat and refresh our ideas.)

4- Stop telling yourself I feel lost ( It will lead you nowhere)

5- Remind yourself all the time the following: what I need to do to get out of that vicious circle?( take action)

6- Restore your self esteem and listen to yourself ( only you can help yourself to achieve what you want)

7- Be closer to God ( the closer you are to God, the less confusion you will have)

8- Smile and Be happy J Life is too short, so make it full of passion and happy goals

H.J

Can Love trick us?

Falling in love is probably the most beautiful feeling that can ever happen to a person. Once you are truly in love with somebody and that person shares the same feeling about you… I believe that Life is endless for both of you. You can have as much problems as possible. You might be in confusion, you might be in a misunderstanding about which movie you would love to watch the upcoming Friday, which tie he should wear with his suit, and which dress will make her less attractive to other guys… but at the end of the dispute, which might take a minute, an hour, a day or even months, you guys will always say I love you to each other. This is where the happiness of love remains.

But what happens when love tricks us? When we feel that we are deeply in love with somebody and that we can not be without that person for a single minute, then we get married to each other, and out of sudden that heat of love is no longer there and the feeling of anger and disappointment prevails. Is it possible that two people who were enormously in love with each other , who dreamt about being married and who felt so passionate about spending the rest of their lives together, end up in an awkward after- marriage relationship where one of them or both of them do not feel the same about each other anymore. Is it love that tricked them from the very beginning or is it the institution of marriage that kills love rather than making it grows?

Many of you , while reading this article, will be stating the fact that this does not happen to everybody. That there are people who have been happily in love and their love even grows with marriage. To those people who are stating this, I say, you are right and I totally agree with you. I have heard, read and even witnessed the life of many couples who fall under this category, however, there is still a large number of people who find themselves under the same roof with a person they once thought he or she is the love of their life, and end up living a miserable life after moving in together under the institution of marriage.

Many of these people, unfortunately, do not feel the courage to come out and say : “ My feelings for this person has tricked me, I thought I was in love, but I realized with time that he or she is not the person I loved...” In some of the Western cultures, I believe that there is some sort of openness about this. And in most cases, when such feelings arise within a married couple, one of them will speak his or her mind out and say, I can’t continue! However, in cultures like the one I belong to, marriage is a sacred institution, just as any other culture, and divorce is the last option to choose. Sometimes, I feel that we do not pay as much attention to how married couples feel about each other, rather than putting the full attention into not separating, no matter how dissatisfied one of even the both of them are in that relationship.

I have witnessed and listened to people, especially women, who have expressed the fact that they have lost the love and affection and even the attraction to the person they married, yet they are forced by the cultural norms and the traditional rules to be with that person, have kids and accept the fact that they are stuck in that miserable situation for mostly the rest of their lives, for the society does not “welcome” divorced women…

These categories of women are largely found in many of the Eastern countries including my own country. Of course, there are women , who were able to defy the cultural Agenda, by speaking out against anything that will stand against them being happy and decided to move on with their lives with no regret and no fear.

Some people might argue about the fact that saving a marriage is more important than feeling happy in that marriage. I say, Happiness comes first. Being happy is the key to a healthy living, a healthy body and healthy mind. There is no religion and no law that states that a person (being a man or a woman) should remain in a relationship where they feel no intimacy, love and closure with the other person.

I started my article saying that if two people are deeply in love with each other, life is endless for both of them. However, my dilemma is , how come two people who felt in love so deeply, find themselves, out of love once married? Does love have an ending time? Or were they tricked by love?

To be continued…

H.J

The Best Things in Life are free

"The best things in life are free" is one of my favorite old songs that i enjoy listening to, not only because of the rythm of the music, but because the song unfolds a huge amount of meanings about life, love and how little things in life can bring happiness that sometimes money can not achieve it.
When listening the song, i tried to compare the words of the song and what we live in today's world where everything, well almost everything has become money related. Money talk is the motho, and the rule of who is who reign over every part of the world leaving the moderate people with no choice but to feel discouraged, depressed and angry at life, the economy, the political agenda of their countries,...

I lived in a country where the majority of its people were on a daily complain about life. They complain about the governement, they complain about the poverty line, they complain about the unemployement rate, they complain about them not having enough money. and these people get trapped in a circle of non stop complain without tryin to end it or develop it. I know that sometimes when it is hard , it is hard but nothing is impossible to me and i bet that this is the case for so many people who believe that Magic can happen but it needs to be accompanied by hard work not just hope!
The world is changing so rapidly, and in the midst of this change, some nations are developing and others are deteriorating. To cope up with this change " crisis" every nation is trying to find a way to survive. Many European Countries are already grieving their losses and other countries are on the way to banckrupcy. People in many countries, following the encomic crisis, have changed the way they live, the way they spend, the way they even interact with other people. In Fact, the whole style of living has changed. But does this mean that we need to stop enjoying life.

In the midst of all of these, we need to learn one simple thing that has always been existing and it will always exsit, and that is: You can enjoy life in its simplest things because most of them are free!
I believe that the economic crisis has been a lesson to every one in the world to realize that things can never be the same and life is changing and so are we, therefore, we need to be very flexible with this change and not allow ourselves to be in an internal crisis as well!

Money is not the yardstick to Happiness, it is only a tool . Learn to enjoy every single moment of your life, Learn to enjoy every corner of your entourage. When going to work in the morning, try not only to get annoyed by the busy traffic, but be thankful to the fact that you are still driving to get to work, Many people are lacking that feeling simply because they are jobless.

When you go jogging, dont only focus on how many calories you are going to burn at the end, take time, slow down, enjoy the beauty of the park, look at the various types of roses, plants arround you. discover something new, interact with people, laugh and enjoy the moment,you will end up not only staying fit in the physical body but you will achieve a rest of mind and soul.

spend time with your family, cook dinners at home and try to do it more often. There is nothing as beautiful as a family gathering, Celebrate that togetherness with your family and Thank God for every moment you are being able to see them, simply because other people are longing to have a family but they do not have it.

Volunteer, it is free, it is not painful, it wont take much of your time, but it will give you a sense of appreciation and a huge amount of self esteem, and it will draw a huge smile on the face of the people who need your help.

Pray and spend time closer to God. It wont take much of your credit card, it wont need any hotel reservation and no flight ticket, all you need is a place where you can establish that feeling of closenes with God, and i am sure that it is accessible to every body in this world!

So what are you waiting on, dont wait on the economoy to get better so that you can have enough money to enjoy life, stand up and start enjoying the little things that are free and accessible. Then you will realize that happiness and self esteem is not fully based on money but rather on how willing are we to lead a happy life !

A hint to the wise is sufficient enough to react!

On my last post , i talked about how Love can bring people closer and heal almost every wound created by negative attitudes that are making people in today's world further from each other every day. Today, and while sitting at home watching a TV show about " Cheating" , which i come across by chance while surfing the chaneles, i wondered about this outspreading phenomenon that is taking place almost everywhere and in most relationships not to say all, simply because i truly belive that there are still respectable Men and Women who love and respect each other. It really bothers me to see a woman loving a man so much and doing almost everything to make him happy and he turns out and cheats on her. I immeditaly jumped on my computer and i started writing to share how i feel about this , especially with Women, because We are the most affected by the pehnomenon...

I always believed that Love is a beautiful feeling that everybody is pursuing and looking for. However; while watching the show i noticed that many women ( and here i emphasise that my message from this post is mainly to you women out there who have been the victim of one sided Love that resulted in a Cheating situation from your partner!

Once again, i insist that Love is a beautiful feeling. There is nothing as beautful in this world as when a woman is being truly loved by a man. When that man is ready to do anything just to draw a smile on her face. I have been in touch with many women who have expressed their need to this kind of love simply because they were not able to find it despite their endless trials.

While watching the program, i noticed the large amout of women who have been a victim of their men's selfish attitude and that is "Cheating". I saw the pain on their faces, i saw the hurt and the humiliation in their eyes and i felt how bad that feeling is for a woman who truly loves her husband, or boyfriend. I thought a lot about this and i come up with one major conclusion behind this act that equals the following : When a woman fells in Love with a man who do not love her with the same equity that she does.. that Woman is most likely to be cheated on.
Again, i stress that my conclusion is coming from not only the show i watched, but from personal stories i heard from fiends, relatives and many women who crossed my path throughout my life.

Out of Love, a woman can bear almost anything and some women unfortuantely, and for the sake of love and the protection of the relationship, they bear the cheating aspect of a man . The fear and the hesitation and in many cases, the low slef esteem, are the reason why many women out there were not able to stand up and say i cant take it anymore.

Every women in this world deserves the right to be happy, treated with dignity and repsect and Loved in return for the love she gives. Most women get angry and furious after a cheating act, they might break up with the guy for a week, two, a month , two months but where there is Love , A true One! that woman comes back.. but what she should know is this: Once a Cheater always a cheater...

My message to you women out there who have been in a situation where you felt like there is no other way to go but to be back to the man who humiliates you and bellitelled you and direspected you, i am saying, stand up and say " I deserve a better place because i worth more that what He considers me to be".It will be very hard to do it but here are few steps that can help you deal with it if you decided that you will walk away:

1- Always say positive things to yourslef: It is not about you.. but it is rather his instability that led him to cheat on a woman who loved Him so much
2- You Can always find better person who will appreciate you and love you the way you deserve
3-Keep yourslef Busy at work, arround friends, dont stay on your own
4- Look beautiful everyday ( that will reinforce your self esteem) Go shopping with friends, Treat yourslef the way you deserve to be treated!
5- Turn the page and dont look back simply because a man who decided to replace you was never the perfect match for you.. so there is no need to waste your time thinking about him
6- Smile and be Happy because there is nothing better that can cure the break of a heart than a big smile and a cheerful attitude :)
7- Forgive and Forget: It will help your soul get stablised and will get you over it in a short of time.

Remember that a hint to the wise is sufficient enough.. so dont wait for another heartbreak..If you find yourslef in this situation, Jump out of the relationship and call it a day.. It was not worth!

H.J

Love is the key to Peace!

Love has always been an essential element of my life as a whole. I always tend to love people unconditionally . I love my Mom to death, she is almost everything to me. I took the loving character from her and i tried to the best of my abilities to love all the people who cross my life.

I have had a great passion towards relationships and i have written in previous posts how important human relationships are to me. I have been knwon as a compassionate person who is always cheerful and nice to others. I do all i can to laugh at the face of other people no matter how bad my mood can be, no matter how hurt i shall feel down inside me, and no matter how bad a person treats me. I forget all that and i tend to react with a Big smile full of Love!

One day i asked myself this question: Can Love heal the wounds created in today's world due to hatred , crimes, wars, unfaithfulness,racism, and many more negative actions? And i did not hesitate to answer myslef with a simple one word answer and that is Yes! Love can heal almost everything.

When we are able to love people our hearts are always open and ready to forgive, we dont bear grudges and we dont hate. and this is exactely what we need in today's world.. We need Peace, and when i talk about peace i dont only refer to the geographical and social peace but i mostly insist on the personal and the inner peace of each one of us. Personal peace is a key element to our daily success, and i truly belive that once we are in peace with oursleves, we will be in peace with everybody who is arround us.

Back in 2004, when i was a student at Ashland University , in Ohio , i had a friend of mine whom we were a bit close to each other. Despite the fact that we were from different backgrounds, and different religions, we were able to develop a friendship. Lesely, that was his name, was a living christian who believed so much in his religion and i as a Muslim, totally respected his religion and i was so open to learn more about it, because to me, love should not only be addressed to your friends in person, but to everything arround Them. I believe that every religion is a gift from God and tolerating and respecting it is a respect to God. Lesly was an example of the so many friends i have got in my life who have impacted my life in a very positive way. They helped me discover that when you believe in diversity and when you treat people with different backgrounds with respect and integrity, you are creating a world of peace and love, and this is exactely what we are in need of in today's world.

lets accept each other's differences, lets celebrate the diverse background we all come from, and lets celebrate Love , for it is the yartdstick to our togetherness.... ( To be continued)

Houssna Jabir

My Love story with Reading

I always hated to read.. i always wondered how do people manage to read books and enjoy doing that... Even at that time i was in college and i had to read books in order to pass my exams, i was always trying to read in a smart way by trying to skip pages and read mainly the most important things that i thought would probably be in the exams...and despite the fact that i was always getting A's in most of my exams and papers.. i was not totally satisifed about my reading attitude simply because i consider it a problem. Why?

Ok here is why i always thought that i need to learn to become a reader. since i was a kid, i have always enjoyed writing. I can write and write for hours without feeling tired or bored, i tried writing poetry,short stories.. even my emails to most of my friends are always long. I love to write but i always hated to read. isnt that weird?

Wait a minute, in order for a writer to be , he or she need to be a reader first, simply because the more you read the better your writing can become. This is what my teachers in high school used to tell me.

I tried to solve my reading problem by taking the following steps:
1- Register with a local library
2- Buy a book every month
3- Read at least 2 pages of a book every night before i go to bed
4- Link my reading to my writing in order to be more enjoyable

It was not an easy task for me and i was always trying to find excuses to not read and cover behind my busy schedule at the time i was working and training.

One day, i was taking my hot choclate at a coffee shop in Santa Monica, and one lady was sitting across from me enjoying her coffee and reading a book. the way that lady was reading her book fascinated me. A big smile was on her face and she was really so focused on the book to the extent that she was not paying attention to the fact that i was gazing at her...

After few minutes, i took a glance at the cover of the book that has a beautiful woman on. I tried to copy the title as well which was " powerful inspirations" Eight lessons that will change your life. By Kathy Ireland and Laura Morton.

I left the coffee shop and i went directly to my library to look for the book and guess what? i found it. I checked out the book and i went back home. While checking the book , i told myslef that i will not even finish the 1st chapter.. however, i was able to read 2 chapters on the same day i took the book, which is a big achievement for someone like me. At that partciular moment, i realized the reason why that woman has that big smile on her face, simply beacuse when you read the book, you will feel that the writer is adressing every single women on this planet regardless of her age, color, religion, social background. The whole idea behind the book was to enable Women and to empower them. It shared so many truths about the writer herself that can be applied to change most of our lives as women.

Believe it or not, I was able to finish that book in 3 days. And that was my first step into developing my love towards Reading.

This was basically my story with Reading. Please feel free to share any book titles with me. your experience with Reading, and any other comments that woul be relevant to this post.

Best,

Houssna Jabir

My Life transition: Mooving to the United States!

I know that i have been away from connecting with you through my blog for quite sometimes due to some professional and personal reasons that unfortuantely did not provide me with the opportunity to sit down and write on my blog. But here i am again, putting my blog as one of the top items on my to do list... Kind of funny right? So before i pour you again with my writings about human relationships topics, i want to put you in the picture of where i am right now in terms of my location, profesional life, goals, in a nutshel, give you some gossip about me :)


As Some of you know, i have mooved to the United States in February 2010. I am now living in Los Angeles California. A wonderful state to be in. I love it down here so much.. it is not my first time being in here though...But... there is always a but.. "i know nobody in the city"... and i am still "jobless". Yeah kind of frustrating to moove from a place where you had a job that you loved. (i used to work as a program coordinator for the Women in Technology Program), a family and a thousands of friends, to a place where you know mostly one or two people.

I tried to adjust to the situation. It was not an easy task tough despite all my endless efforts to find means to get out of my isolation. My daily job ( i mean 24/24) was sitting in front of the computer looking for social groups to join on meet up.com, looking for jobs ( craiglist, idealist,carrerbuilder, linkedin,...) and looking for networking events to attend. For me this was the way to start making new connections and getting to know more people. It was an easy task to do, but rather very challenging.

Why challenging? well simply because, among all the job applications that i have been sending out on a daily basis , i get basiclly no responses. I doubted my resume, i doubted my cover letter and i seeked professional help for a well written resume and a cover letter. Yet, no responses!!! I did not loose hope and i kept knocking on the doors as we say. I tried online applications, random applications and physical applications. I registered with employment agencies... and i am still jobless, but i did not loose hope. So wish me luck!

On the social level, i managed to join some groups on meet up.com and one of them is the LA Arabic club where i met some wonderful people.

On the networking side, i was able to locate some conferences , workshops, classes,.. i attended some and missed others. But one of the brilliant and outstanding conference that i believe i wont regret having attended is the 4th Annual West Hollywood Women's Leadership conference organised by the West Hollywood city council and entitled: Unlimited Opportunities, Fierce& Fabulous!

Stay tuned for more information about this amazing conference


HJ

World's oldest blogger María Amelia López Soliño dies

Spanish grandmother Maria Amelia Lopez logged off for the last time on Wednesday morning, her family has announced

The world's oldest blogger – a 97-year-old Spanish grandmother introduced to the internet by her grandchildren two years ago – has died.
Maria Amelia Lopez’s posts touched on many aspects of her long life, from political memories of the Franco era to intimate musings on her increasingly fragile state of health.
Mrs Lopez blogged from the seaside town of Muxia, where she was born in 1911, or from the farmhouse in Galicia belonging to her grandson, Daniel.
She wrote: "On December 23rd 2006, my grandson gave me a present, this blog when I was 95 years old ... and my life changed ... now, I can communicate and interact with the world."

Her blog, at amis95.blogspot.com, became a global hit, notching up more than 1.5 million visits. As her fame spread, Mrs Lopez became an unlikely campaigner for digital rights for older people, and even took tea with the Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, the Spanish Prime Minister.
She wrote frequently of the benefits of the online community she had created.
In one of her last posts, in February this year, she wrote: "When I'm on the internet, I forget about my illness. The distraction is good for you – being able to communicate with people. It wakes up the brain, and gives you great strength."
Mrs Lopez became the world's oldest blogger on the death of 108-year-old Australian Oliver Riley in June 2008. The new holder of this unoffical title is unknown, although the actor Kirk Douglas, 92, who blogs regularly on his MySpace page, could be in the running.
Twitter's oldest microblogger is the 104-year-old Briton Ivy Bean, who keeps her 14,600 followers entertained at twitter.com/ivybean104.

Source: http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article6344077.ece

Is Human Contact a Cultural thing??

Does culture play a role in making some of us in this world more into human contact than others, or is it a personal character determined?

A question that needs to be answered by you.....

Please leave your opinion........


Many Thanks,

WIT Program: A great example of Human Relationship Building

A team spirit enviornement

A source of experience exchange.

A yardstick for professional

developement.

A place for personal evolvement.

A model of networking spirit.

Simply an example of Human relationship building

Graduation Ceremony-May 2006

Graduation Ceremony-Montana State University, Bozeman- May 2006
Wonderful people- Amazing Journey-and Honor Roll :)
Simply PLUS STUDENTS

Stay Focused, have a Goal in Life!

How Happy will your goal make you??

How Happy is your goal? a simple statement that contains a valuable asset of information within it, why?

Well first of all, lets go back to our first step : " Defining a goal" and lets all agree that Knowing your goal will make it easier for you to achieve it, simply because " When people set goals, they will not choose to do anything which is not conducive to the achievement of that goal.

So now that each one of us has already defined his /her goal when it comes to streghtening Human relations, we need to study that goal. We need to see its horizons. We need to define its possibility of making us Happy.

Remember that Goals are thoughts and that Good thoughts achieve good results and Bad thoughts achieve bad results and none of us want to achive bad resutls, that is why we need to be sure of the goal that we want to achieve and how happy it will make us.

A friend of mine is always reminding me that Life should not always be focused on making other people happy, but it needs to focus on making you happy as well. However, i have always been stating that in every aspect of our life, we need people. We need them arround us to make us feel social, we need people arround us to make us feel loved, We need people arround us to encourage us to reach our goals, and we need people arround us to help us strenghten our human relationships. So basically, there is nothing bad in sacrificing part of your life, week, or a day in making people smile, happy, and feel good about themslves. That is of course without forgetting the major happiness that needs to be present and that is " Your Happiness".

Therefore, the second step in building a good human relations in today's world, after defining your goal is to make sure that your goal will make you happy. If not, then that goal is not based on a healthy thought and will result in an unhelathy goal and therefore a total unhappiness.

So lets build our human relationships on a Happy goal :)

Section: BOOKS

Habit 1: Be Proactive: Principles of Personal Choice
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind: Principles of Personal Vision
Habit 3: Put First Things First: Principles of Integrity & Execution
Habit 4: Think Win/Win: Principles of Mutual Benefit
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood: Principles of Mutual Understanding
Habit 6: Synergize: Principles of Creative Cooperation
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw: Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal

Human Relations is like a tennis game – an exchange of energies!!

One day i read this very interesting article that compared human relationships to a Tennis Game, and i thought i would summarize some of its contents related to setting goals in order for us all to start our mission on building successful relationships with a defined Goal.

"Human relations is like a game of tennis. The ball you serve comes back. I serve a negative ball; I get a negative ball in return. If I serve a positive ball, I will get a positive ball in return."Quote from the article.

What is our Goal now? this is the first question that needs to be asked by each one of us.

Do you want to have plenty of friends? do you want to be liked by most people? do you want to improve your realtionships with your daughter/son? do you want to improve and advance your love relationship with your man-woman, do you want to get along in a better way with your collegues?.....

Knowing your goal will make it easier for you to achieve it, why simply because " When people set goals, they will not choose to do anything which is not conducive to the achievement of the goal. Life is all about achieving desirable goals. Goals are thoughts. Good thoughts achieve good results. Bad thoughts achieve bad results." quoted from the article ( see link below)

So the rule of this : " In human relations – if you want to take something from somebody, first give him its equivalent. That is why the maxim goes like `Give and Take’. Have you heard of a law, which says, `Take and Give’. No. If you want love, give love first. If you want appreciation from your boss, work as if it were your own company and so on..."

So what do i mean by all this, before we start drafting our resolutions for a " New Life " full of human interactions, we first need to set our goals. What do we really want to achieve!!

In the same article they came about this technique: " Recall the names of all those people with whom you have some kind of tension. Now, do this self-talk, `` Mr. X and Mr.Y, I want to have a positive relationship with you. I am forgiving you here and now for all the harm you have done to me. I have decided to love you unconditionally. I am requesting you to forgive me for my mistakes.’’ Now, slowly your own mental states will change. You will notice that the old hatred and anger has disappeared!"

This is a example of a situation where a misunderstaing resulted in a hatred between two people and therefore caused some sort of tension and a loss of human interaction between these people. However, we can start on our demarch from the same ideology, and then i will be writing the names of all the people with whom i would like to build stronger ties and relationships and i would go like this:

" My son... I would love to get closer to you and i want for us to spend more time together at the house, GYM, the library, the ice cream place, the mall,...." or i would go like this " My collegue, i would love for us to spend some time together out of office time along with the other collegues in order for us to establish more human ties that are out of the professional atmopshere" and so on.

I once was asked by my Professor at my capstone seminar at Montana State university, Bozeman to read this book called " The seven habits of highly effective people". I always hated reading and i never thought i would ever go on reading even 10 pages of that book. However, it turned out that i read that same book over and over and over. Why??

The book did not only teaches you about how to be effective as a person , but it teaches you many rules that applies to our daily life and that need to be part of it. In this book, written by Stephen R.Covey’s there is a chapter entitled ``Seek first to understand and then be understood’, which is very enriching and talks about the same principle of giving and taking.

So what we need to put in mind is this: "In everything including human relationships,You cannot take back what you have not given!" Try to apply this rule with all your entourage, and You will simply be amazed by the tremendous change and the outcome this law will have on your life.

Why this Blog???

Before i decided to create this blog and carry on my great passion for human relationships, i always wanted to help people, assist them, be nice to people, and above all consider myslef a friend to every person i meet in my life; being old, or young, black or white, Muslim, jewish, christian, male or female..... Why simply because i always believed that there is nothing worth in life more than having a good and an enduring relationship with people.

I have discovered throughout my past 7 years that most of my life has been concentrated on a machine, and that is the Computer. These years have been almost computeralized in all its apsects to the extent that my human interaction with people started to degrade.

I have always been hearing this friend of mine telling me " Houssna are we becoming like a machine" and i would be asking her always why are you saying this.... ??? She would go like this:" the first thing we do when we wake up is to turn on our computers, work and study and write and chat and talk to people and the last thing we do before we sleep is to turn off our computer..; So basically our daily life is related to a machine that is driving us to loose our Physcial- human interaction.

When i thought of what she has been telling me and other friends of ours, i felt that she is right... but i related that to distance and the fact that we are in a country that is not ours, which neccesistaes the use of computers all day long to stay in touch with people....

Yet, our arrival to Morocco, made us feel that it not a question of distance, but it is rather a matter of atittude, a need, a must to do aspect that we cant get rid of.

Our work need us to be on a daily basis with a computer in hand, even during weekend. Our relationships with people ( friendships, dating, and even marriages) nowdays are relying on MSN, Yahoo messenger, SKYPE, emails, and many other technical tools that have been making it easier for us to get in touch with our friends, and relatives, yet depriving us from the entertainement of having a physical contact with these people.

Thus, i decided to use techonology to help us get back the human ties that were lost, help us understand more about ways of improving our social ties , by understanding more about our lives, our attitudes, our behaviors, our entourage....

I decided to create this blog to help myslef and everybody else understand more about human relationships and interactivity. To help us all achieve a better place to live , to pave the road for us all to get acquinted with more techniques for having a happy life.

How many of us write in their to do list for the week... Meeting with friends?? Coffee with family? dinner with my boyfriend-girlfriend? lunch with my wife-husband? visiting my grandmother?..... I personally find myslef unable to do it?and i always purposely relate that to the busy schedule of my work and the non stop professional duties that are making me always in front of a machine..... But that is not really the reason? and i am sure that this is not your reaon as well....

So this blog, will help us all draft our to do list for every week with at least a 30 to 40 % personal attitude that aims to strenghten our social and Human relationships with each other.

Good Luck,

Understanding Human Relationships!

One of the most important relationship lessons I learned was this: The relationships we have with other people are projections of the relationships we have within ourselves. Our external relationships and our internal relationships are in fact the same relationships. They only seem different because we look at them through different lenses....

Let’s consider why this is true. Where do all your relationships exist? They exist in your thoughts. Your relationship with another person is whatever you imagine it to be. Whether you love someone or hate someone, you’re right. Now the other person may have a completely different relationship to you, but understand that your representation of what someone else thinks of you is also part of your thoughts. So your relationship with someone includes what you think of that person and what you believe s/he thinks of you. You can complicate it further by imagining what the other person thinks you think of him/her, but ultimately those internal representations are all you have.

Even if your relationships exist in some objective reality independent of your thoughts, you never have access to the objective viewpoint. You’re always viewing your relationships through the lens of your own consciousness. The closest you can get to being objective is to imagine being objective, but that is in no way the same thing as true objectivity. That’s because the act of observation requires a conscious observer, which is subjective by its very nature.

At first it might seem troublesome that you can never hope to gain a truly accurate, 100% objective understanding of your relationships. You can never escape the subjective lens of your own consciousness. That would be like trying to find the color blue with a red lens permanently taped over your eyes. That doesn’t stop people from trying, but such attempts are in vain. If you fall into the trap of trying to think of your relationships as objective entities that are external to you, you’ll be using an inescapably inaccurate model of reality. Consequently, the likely outcome is that you’ll frustrate yourself to no end when it comes to human relationships. You’ll make relating to other people a lot harder than it needs to be. Intuitively you may know something is off in your approach to relationships, but you’ll remain stuck until you realize that every relationship you have with another person is really a relationship that exists entirely within yourself.

Fortunately, once you embrace the subjective nature of relationships, you’ll have a much easier time relating to people. It’s easier to get where you want to go when you have an accurate map. The subjective view of relationships implies that you can change or improve your relationships with others by working on the internal relationships within yourself. Furthermore, you can improve your internal relationships, such as your self-esteem, by working on your relationships with others. Ultimately it’s all the same thing.


Source: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/01/understanding-human-relationships/