Why Me?

“To all the people who feel, felt or will feel lost at a certain time of their lives”

How many of us have felt lost at a certain time of their lives? Not just one, or two but the majority have crossed that path at least once or twice in their lives if not to say every time they try to make a decision related to a certain aspect of their lives.

Success is what everyone wants. We were all born with the passion to succeed and achieve. Each one of us adopts a different method leading towards that success. With that goal in mind we cross many steps in our lives, we meet various people that affect our lives in both negative and positive ways, we travel to different places and get acquainted to newer cultures, learn new languages,…And all these factors contribute to us adopting new ideas, challenging our old ones, getting rid of some of our old habits and welcoming new ones.. Then, we start to struggle in our own ways to get the perfect job that pays the most, get the highest degrees with the best future even if we don’t like the major, get married to the most successful man or woman, buy the most expensive items… So we lead a life full of non stop race and challenges, and in the midst of all this, our worries increase, our ambitions develop, and our minds give born to a situation called confusion or being lost!

In an early article of mine I have spoken about the importance of not only setting goals in life but making those goals happy ones; in the sense that if my goal or your goal is not a happy one, you will reach it after a series of hard work, sacrifices, dedication, perseverance and a whole set of motivational exercises, but you will find yourself not enjoying it once achieved..!

I always believed that each one of us has worked hard enough in direct and indirect ways to achieve a goal in life. Some of us have been successful in getting what they want, others have been finding it hard to get even one third of what they strive to get due to many factors, and therefore find themselves in a situation that we can summarize in two words: Why me?

Personally speaking, I have crossed the “Why me” Situation many times in my life and I know many people who have experienced such a “being lost” situation when making decisions about a career change, marriage, dating, divorce, traveling, having babies… Especially at today’s world when going on one direction has become almost impossible and a person is often obliged to make a stop at different junctions and ask for directions to be sure he or she is on the right road to his or her destination.

Through my article I would like to specify the fact that we are all humans and being lost at a certain point in life is totally a natural aspect that can be treated with many ways apart from sitting and repeating the phrase : I feel lost or reproaching one self by saying why me?

There are simple baby steps that each one of us needs to follow to jump out of such a situation and welcome a life full of satisfaction. I always insist on the fact that happiness starts from within, from us, from the way we see life and the way we thank God for what we have. The more we appreciate the little we have, the more we will get, and the happier we will become. Thus, our worries, and our loss will start to gradually dismantle and eventually disappear.

If you are currently feeling lost about a situation, please remind yourself that it is just temporary, it might take days, months or years, and it will stop because you will find your road eventually and you will get to your happy goal. Then why being trapped in a self torture status when all you need to do is this:

1- Set a happy goal in life ( it is very simple (e.g): don’t make your goal only getting a job that pays off well, but make your goal getting a job about which you have a huge passion and love.)

2- Plan your life and your goal carefully ( I would say plan with both your mind and heart.)

3- Consult with the right people (sometimes in life, we need mentors, friends, people with whom we can have a little chat and refresh our ideas.)

4- Stop telling yourself I feel lost ( It will lead you nowhere)

5- Remind yourself all the time the following: what I need to do to get out of that vicious circle?( take action)

6- Restore your self esteem and listen to yourself ( only you can help yourself to achieve what you want)

7- Be closer to God ( the closer you are to God, the less confusion you will have)

8- Smile and Be happy J Life is too short, so make it full of passion and happy goals

H.J

Can Love trick us?

Falling in love is probably the most beautiful feeling that can ever happen to a person. Once you are truly in love with somebody and that person shares the same feeling about you… I believe that Life is endless for both of you. You can have as much problems as possible. You might be in confusion, you might be in a misunderstanding about which movie you would love to watch the upcoming Friday, which tie he should wear with his suit, and which dress will make her less attractive to other guys… but at the end of the dispute, which might take a minute, an hour, a day or even months, you guys will always say I love you to each other. This is where the happiness of love remains.

But what happens when love tricks us? When we feel that we are deeply in love with somebody and that we can not be without that person for a single minute, then we get married to each other, and out of sudden that heat of love is no longer there and the feeling of anger and disappointment prevails. Is it possible that two people who were enormously in love with each other , who dreamt about being married and who felt so passionate about spending the rest of their lives together, end up in an awkward after- marriage relationship where one of them or both of them do not feel the same about each other anymore. Is it love that tricked them from the very beginning or is it the institution of marriage that kills love rather than making it grows?

Many of you , while reading this article, will be stating the fact that this does not happen to everybody. That there are people who have been happily in love and their love even grows with marriage. To those people who are stating this, I say, you are right and I totally agree with you. I have heard, read and even witnessed the life of many couples who fall under this category, however, there is still a large number of people who find themselves under the same roof with a person they once thought he or she is the love of their life, and end up living a miserable life after moving in together under the institution of marriage.

Many of these people, unfortunately, do not feel the courage to come out and say : “ My feelings for this person has tricked me, I thought I was in love, but I realized with time that he or she is not the person I loved...” In some of the Western cultures, I believe that there is some sort of openness about this. And in most cases, when such feelings arise within a married couple, one of them will speak his or her mind out and say, I can’t continue! However, in cultures like the one I belong to, marriage is a sacred institution, just as any other culture, and divorce is the last option to choose. Sometimes, I feel that we do not pay as much attention to how married couples feel about each other, rather than putting the full attention into not separating, no matter how dissatisfied one of even the both of them are in that relationship.

I have witnessed and listened to people, especially women, who have expressed the fact that they have lost the love and affection and even the attraction to the person they married, yet they are forced by the cultural norms and the traditional rules to be with that person, have kids and accept the fact that they are stuck in that miserable situation for mostly the rest of their lives, for the society does not “welcome” divorced women…

These categories of women are largely found in many of the Eastern countries including my own country. Of course, there are women , who were able to defy the cultural Agenda, by speaking out against anything that will stand against them being happy and decided to move on with their lives with no regret and no fear.

Some people might argue about the fact that saving a marriage is more important than feeling happy in that marriage. I say, Happiness comes first. Being happy is the key to a healthy living, a healthy body and healthy mind. There is no religion and no law that states that a person (being a man or a woman) should remain in a relationship where they feel no intimacy, love and closure with the other person.

I started my article saying that if two people are deeply in love with each other, life is endless for both of them. However, my dilemma is , how come two people who felt in love so deeply, find themselves, out of love once married? Does love have an ending time? Or were they tricked by love?

To be continued…

H.J

The Best Things in Life are free

"The best things in life are free" is one of my favorite old songs that i enjoy listening to, not only because of the rythm of the music, but because the song unfolds a huge amount of meanings about life, love and how little things in life can bring happiness that sometimes money can not achieve it.
When listening the song, i tried to compare the words of the song and what we live in today's world where everything, well almost everything has become money related. Money talk is the motho, and the rule of who is who reign over every part of the world leaving the moderate people with no choice but to feel discouraged, depressed and angry at life, the economy, the political agenda of their countries,...

I lived in a country where the majority of its people were on a daily complain about life. They complain about the governement, they complain about the poverty line, they complain about the unemployement rate, they complain about them not having enough money. and these people get trapped in a circle of non stop complain without tryin to end it or develop it. I know that sometimes when it is hard , it is hard but nothing is impossible to me and i bet that this is the case for so many people who believe that Magic can happen but it needs to be accompanied by hard work not just hope!
The world is changing so rapidly, and in the midst of this change, some nations are developing and others are deteriorating. To cope up with this change " crisis" every nation is trying to find a way to survive. Many European Countries are already grieving their losses and other countries are on the way to banckrupcy. People in many countries, following the encomic crisis, have changed the way they live, the way they spend, the way they even interact with other people. In Fact, the whole style of living has changed. But does this mean that we need to stop enjoying life.

In the midst of all of these, we need to learn one simple thing that has always been existing and it will always exsit, and that is: You can enjoy life in its simplest things because most of them are free!
I believe that the economic crisis has been a lesson to every one in the world to realize that things can never be the same and life is changing and so are we, therefore, we need to be very flexible with this change and not allow ourselves to be in an internal crisis as well!

Money is not the yardstick to Happiness, it is only a tool . Learn to enjoy every single moment of your life, Learn to enjoy every corner of your entourage. When going to work in the morning, try not only to get annoyed by the busy traffic, but be thankful to the fact that you are still driving to get to work, Many people are lacking that feeling simply because they are jobless.

When you go jogging, dont only focus on how many calories you are going to burn at the end, take time, slow down, enjoy the beauty of the park, look at the various types of roses, plants arround you. discover something new, interact with people, laugh and enjoy the moment,you will end up not only staying fit in the physical body but you will achieve a rest of mind and soul.

spend time with your family, cook dinners at home and try to do it more often. There is nothing as beautiful as a family gathering, Celebrate that togetherness with your family and Thank God for every moment you are being able to see them, simply because other people are longing to have a family but they do not have it.

Volunteer, it is free, it is not painful, it wont take much of your time, but it will give you a sense of appreciation and a huge amount of self esteem, and it will draw a huge smile on the face of the people who need your help.

Pray and spend time closer to God. It wont take much of your credit card, it wont need any hotel reservation and no flight ticket, all you need is a place where you can establish that feeling of closenes with God, and i am sure that it is accessible to every body in this world!

So what are you waiting on, dont wait on the economoy to get better so that you can have enough money to enjoy life, stand up and start enjoying the little things that are free and accessible. Then you will realize that happiness and self esteem is not fully based on money but rather on how willing are we to lead a happy life !

How Happy will your goal make you??

How Happy is your goal? a simple statement that contains a valuable asset of information within it, why?

Well first of all, lets go back to our first step : " Defining a goal" and lets all agree that Knowing your goal will make it easier for you to achieve it, simply because " When people set goals, they will not choose to do anything which is not conducive to the achievement of that goal.

So now that each one of us has already defined his /her goal when it comes to streghtening Human relations, we need to study that goal. We need to see its horizons. We need to define its possibility of making us Happy.

Remember that Goals are thoughts and that Good thoughts achieve good results and Bad thoughts achieve bad results and none of us want to achive bad resutls, that is why we need to be sure of the goal that we want to achieve and how happy it will make us.

A friend of mine is always reminding me that Life should not always be focused on making other people happy, but it needs to focus on making you happy as well. However, i have always been stating that in every aspect of our life, we need people. We need them arround us to make us feel social, we need people arround us to make us feel loved, We need people arround us to encourage us to reach our goals, and we need people arround us to help us strenghten our human relationships. So basically, there is nothing bad in sacrificing part of your life, week, or a day in making people smile, happy, and feel good about themslves. That is of course without forgetting the major happiness that needs to be present and that is " Your Happiness".

Therefore, the second step in building a good human relations in today's world, after defining your goal is to make sure that your goal will make you happy. If not, then that goal is not based on a healthy thought and will result in an unhelathy goal and therefore a total unhappiness.

So lets build our human relationships on a Happy goal :)